Five-Paragraph Essay Revision
The final step in the writing process is to polish your draft to make a final revision. Make it shine by considering all you have learned about your topic, using credible sources and writing paragraphs that tie into your thesis and sound true to your voice. Remember to use Smarthinking if you need assistance.
This week, you will complete a detailed revision of your Unit 3 argumentative essay submission by submitting a well-organized, error-free final version that considers all of the feedback you have received. Download this template to help you complete this assignment. The final draft should include the following: Use feedback from your instructor, peers, and any other sources to revise and finish writing your 5-paragraph essay. Demonstrate your understanding of the final step of the writing process—revision. Submit your paper that includes all of the following: Title page Abstract page Opening paragraph with thesis statement 3 body paragraphs that support your opinions/positions with source information Conclusion paragraph References page (citations must be provided, but only the attempt to do so will be graded) Be sure to address the following in your submission: APA formatting for the entire paper and the references listed (the paper should be double spaced, with 1-inch margins, 12-point Times New Roman font, per APA guidelines) Use of at least 1 credible source to support your position on the topic Use of at least 1 example of each of the following: Quotation (include in-text citations in proper APA style) Paraphrasing (include in-text citations in proper APA style) Logical reasoning
This assignment will also be assessed using additional criteria provided here. Assignment Criteria Proficient Descriptor Points Revised Submission • Submits a revised proof-read paper that has incorporated instructor and peer feedback as applicable. /10 pts. Final Submission Element 1: Introduction • Provides an interesting introduction with a clear position on the issue and an explicit thesis statement.
o Thesis statement contains the main idea and three supporting ideas to set the scope of the paper and provide an effective transition to the remaining paper. /25 pts. Final Submission Element 2:
3 Body Paragraphs • Includes 3 body paragraphs with clear topic and supporting sentences that logically develop the thesis and the main ideas.
• Provides reasonable examples and counterarguments as needed.
• Uses transitions appropriately to move the reader smoothly from one paragraph to the next. /60 pts. Final Submission Element 3:
Conclusion • Sums up the main points and connects briefly back to the thesis statement.
• Reiterates the position taken on the issue and highlights the importance of the issue. /25 pts Final Submission Element 4:
Use of Evidence and accurate attribution • Provides one example each of quotation, paraphrasing, and logical reasoning when presenting evidence
• Uses at least one credible source in direct quotes or in paraphrases as directed to support arguments made in the essay.
• Cites all quotes and paraphrases accurately in APA Style. /10 pts. Final Submission Element 5:
Submission Style and Format • Submits paper that is double spaced with 1-inch margins and uses 12-point Times Roman font.
• Includes Running head formatted accurately in the page headers.
• Includes APA formatted Title and Reference Page. /10 pts. Grammar & Mechanics • Sentences are clear, well-articulated within the specified assignment requirements, and free from grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors /10 pts. Total /150 pts.
This is the feed back from my unit 3 assignment that you completed and the grade I recieved I need these corrections done according to the grading rubic for my unit 5 to ensure I recieve the maximum points possible for this assignment.
Romel: Your grade of 93 out of a potential 150 points was calculated according to the following rubric. (See the assignment directions for an explanation of the Assignment Criteria.)
Introduction ( 30 /40 pts): You have not begun with a hook to grab your reader’s attention. Did you bold your second sentence to show that was your topic sentence? If you did, it should be the last sentence of your introductory paragraph. Also, it states your position on the issue, but does not preview the arguments you will make in your body paragraphs to support your position as it should.
Body Paragraphs: Development of Ideas ( 23 /30 pts.): Your body paragraphs do not begin with clear topic sentences that state the point to be made in their paragraphs in support of your thesis or position on the issue. Unclear wording makes it difficult for me to understand the points you are trying to make in your body paragraphs.
Body Paragraphs: Use of Counterarguments ( 12/15 pts.): Your comments about sheltering alcohol manufacturers from financial loss may be a counter argument, but you don’t clearly say that. Wouldn’t alcohol retailers also need protection from lost business
Body Paragraphs: Use of Transitions ( 4/5 pts.): You use 1 paragraph to paragraph transition at the beginning of your third paragraph: “Another.”
Conclusion ( 0/30 pts.): You do not appear to have provided a concluding paragraph, restating your main point and summarizing the points made in your body paragraphs. Before you write your Unit 5 final draft, please look at my mini-lessons, “The Introductory Paragraph,” “The Body Paragraphs,” and “The Concluding Paragraph.”
Use of Evidence ( 12/15 pts.): You have provided a paraphrase in each of your body paragraphs, but have not provided APA in-text citations. Study the Unit 3 Intellipath node, “APA In-Text Citation and References List: A Basic Review.” You have provided no quotations from sources you researched.
Grammar & Mechanics ( 7/10 pts.): There are many examples of vague or unclear wording. What is a “flicker of moment” and how is that different than “in a moment”? Alcohol is a depressant rather than a stimulant, so how is it that “it speeds up the way that they work”? Do you mean “alcoholic drinks” rather than “non-carbonated drinks”? In the next paragraph, it should be “even developed economies” rather than “even developed economy.” I recommend finding a Smarthinking tutor to help you proofread your Unit 5 final draft.
Submission Style & Format ( 5/5 pts.): Your title page is mostly in APA format, but the title in the running head should be in all capital letters. On your first body page, Alcohol Usage, should be centered 1 double space above the introductory paragraph. Your paper is double spaced, uses 12-point Times New Roman font, and indents the beginning of each paragraph although a little more than a half-inch.
The file is attached for corrections so we can make this paper a success </pstyle="margin-bottom:>